In this episode we have a special guest Michael White. Michael's bravery in sharing his journey aims to inspire, offering a beacon of hope for others facing similar challenges. This heartfelt episode sheds light on a journey of resilience, the power of faith, and the significance of community support. Through Michael's story, the podcast highlights the importance of empathy, mental health awareness, and the enduring spirit in the face of adversity.
Meet the Guest: Michael White
Today, we are extremely honored to have Michael White, a highly respected United States Army veteran, with us to share his extraordinarily powerful and inspiring story. His journey is a testament to resilience, determination, and the indomitable human spirit in overcoming the toughest of life's challenges. One of these significant hurdles includes his recent diagnosis of stage 4 kidney failure, a life-altering condition that has tested his strength and resolve. Despite the daunting prognosis, Michael continues to face each day with courage and positivity, embodying the true spirit of survival. His story is a beacon of hope and resilience for many facing similar battles.
🔑 Key Takeaways:
- Michael opens up about his health struggles, the emotional turmoil, and the journey of coping.
- He emphasizes the importance of prayer, seeking potential kidney donors, and the impact of his condition on his life.
- Despite the challenges, Michael finds hope and aims to inspire others through his story, seeking support and awareness.
💡 Discussion Points:
- Michael narrates his health journey, from the sudden diagnosis to the emotional turmoil, contemplating suicide, and finding moments of hope.
- He shares how the condition impacted his job, relationships, and mental health, opening up about the struggles and the support that helped him persevere.
- The dream that shook him, showing the impact of his potential suicide on loved ones, ignites a determination to survive and make a positive difference.
Listen to Podcast
Watch Full Episode:
Resources:
- Still Serving Incorporated: www.StillServingInc.com - making a difference through the podcast's support.
- Contact Michael for potential kidney donors or support via email at [email protected] or phone at 910-587-8276.
- Mario P Fields' Social Media: https://www.paradedeck.com/creator/sgtmajmariopfields?track=pd
Transcripts by Buzzsprout
(00:00)
Welcome back to unarmored talk podcast. Thank you so much for listening and watching each episode and continue pleased to share with your friends and family members and colleagues. And don't forget to leave a rating or review if you feel this is a awesome show.
(00:17)
And you can connect to all of my social media on the parade deck just looking at show notes or you can put in the search engine Mario P. Fields parade deck and get all access to my social media. Well, let's get ready to interview another guest who is willing to remove their armor to help other people.
(00:38)
Welcome back to unarmored talk podcast everyone. If you're listening, I wish I could talk to you as well. But I hope you enjoyed this voice. And if you're watching, thank you again for watching these amazing episodes.
(00:52)
Today we have another guest willing to remove their armor to have some discussions without armor to help people gain a better understanding of how emotions can influence the outcome of a situation. But if you think through them and telling you guys, everyone, you could potentially increase the outcome in a positive way of situations while living.
(01:13)
We got Michael White. He's a United States Army veteran. I think Michael you did what 76 years, 77 77 years in. I wish it's actually 13. 12 months is enough, my friend, but 13 years. United States Army veteran, y 'all know I'm a Marine, so I'm not going to give him.
(01:33)
I got much love for the Army go soldiers just for this episode. And if my memory serves me correctly, Michael, your dad was a Marine, right? He's a Marine. Yes. Superfives. So you guys know the deal again.
(01:54)
Thank you so much for everything you've done for the year 2023. An amazing year getting ready to This would be our last episode this year. Well, of course, Nicole and I do a holiday message to close us out, but lots of money raised and went to Still Serving Incorporated.
(02:08)
Check out www .StillServingInc .com to look at all the things that your viewership, you sharing this, put these episodes, just clicking on a thumbnail or downloading the audio. You are helping us make a difference with these amazing, amazing students and helping us break the poverty cycle, not just in Pitt County, but hopefully around the world one day.
(02:33)
So let's get right to it. Everyone, I got an amazing guest today. I don't have an amazing guest. I was fortunate and blessed to be connected with Michael White, but I'll tell you guys upfront, very could be a very emotional episode.
(02:50)
Michael White was recently diagnosed with stage 4 kidney, if you will, failure. And before we even get into the emotions behind this life challenge, Michael up front, how can people help you at your current state?
(03:06)
How can I help you? Really easy. Just one big thing is pray for them because that's the main thing I'll tell them about just pray for me. The other thing is, if you know anyone that's willing to be a kidney donor, go to go to your local hospital or kidney bank or whatever you want to call them.
(03:34)
And also, if you want to, you can reach me at MichaelLWhite33 at gmail .com or you can call me, SimiaTex9105878276. And hopefully, hopefully some progress can be made. And one of the things I will tell you that going through being a kidney donor, the two most important things that will get you disqualified is hypertension and diabetes.
(04:11)
So those are the two big ones right there that will just, that will get you disqualified. But other than that, if anybody wants to bless me with an organ, I will appreciate it. And I will welcome you into my family and it's not going to be one of those, well, I got organ from you and that's it.
(04:35)
I want to stay in touch and we become bonded as a family. Yeah. And thank you again, man, I know, you know, for having the energy and courage to even come on the show today. And you guys heard it now make sure your contact information is in the show notes.
(04:52)
But everyone get together, let's collaborate, work together, share the video. this episode, share the audio, share the video. Let's all come together to see if we can find a donor that's a good match for Michael, a United States Army veteran.
(05:06)
And he's not real quick. Oh, real quick. I almost forgot. I'm all positive. So it doesn't doesn't matter. Got it. The organ site. Nice. All positive. That makes it even better. And so let's let's you know, get get Michael a good kidney.
(05:28)
If you will, he's got a lot more work to do on his earth. That's just my belief. Let's just get into it, my friend. Here it is. My belief is you know, your healthy doing some things. All of a sudden, you get this diagnosis.
(05:41)
What emotions went through your mind have been going through your mind that a lot of folks don't even know you're dealing with when they see you. I was it the believe it or not. you I was at work and then of course my grandmother passed.
(06:03)
So I went to Mississippi, which is like a seven -hour drive from where I am. The whole time I was there, I was throwing up and I didn't know what was going on. I thought it was the food that I was partaking from the repass.
(06:19)
So the whole entire time I was just throwing up, throwing up, throwing up, couldn't keep nothing on my stomach. I got and I tried different medications and stuff, and it wouldn't, nothing wouldn't stay.
(06:31)
So I drove back from Mississippi back to Fort Worth, Texas. So while I was at work, I was still throwing up and my supervisor was like, you need to go get checked out because she thought I had COVID.
(06:45)
So I go to a clinic, do the blood work, and I would say the next day, which was that following Tuesday, the doctor was like, you need to go immediately to the hospital ASAP. And he was talking and I'm like, what's going on?
(07:07)
He said, your GFR, GFR in basically long -store short, there was some issues with my blood. And he said, I need to go to the hospital ASAP. So I went to the VA hospital in Dallas, got checked in, couldn't find out, two things was going wrong.
(07:27)
My blood pressure was extremely high. At one point it was like 262 over 155, 90. And they was like, oh my gosh, are you having a stroke? I'm like, no, I'm fine. What's going on? And so they was like, we gotta meet you ASAP.
(07:47)
So they gave me some medication to lower the blood pressure. And then that's, and so I just, I didn't know nothing was going on until probably about three days that I got admitted to the hospital. And the doctor was like, I got some news to share with you.
(08:06)
Um, your kidneys are no longer performing. And he, and he both of them are just one. No, both. Wow. Both. I'm like, what is really going on? He said, first of all, your kidneys no longer work. You're below, you're below the 15% of function capability.
(08:28)
So you have to start dialysis immediately. And right then and there, it's like everything just crashed. Everything was firing out of control. And the whole time I'm there, I'm like, what is going on?
(08:45)
You got to be kidding me. You know, so you tell me, I went from almost having a stroke. because everybody, that's what everybody was saying. I should have stroke. I should have just, I should have been dead.
(08:58)
With those numbers, they said nobody, and even the doctor was saying, nobody should not come away with those numbers and still alive. Right. And so, so then they prepared me for the capillary. They put it in my chest and it was just, all I did was just cry.
(09:17)
And I'm like, I cannot believe this. This, this is, this is like why? And so- And Michael, if I may, when, how many years ago was that? When was this? This, believe it or not, this was back in 2021, but the civilian hospital, they went and retroactivated my condition back to 2017 because they got access to my VA records.
(09:51)
So- And there was signs, there were signs of my condition getting worse at that time, but it was never diagnosed properly. Right. So essentially your kidneys actually started to fail approximately about six years ago.
(10:07)
Yes. Oh my goodness. So here, so here you are now. Don, you know, it was a hereditary disease that I had. So it jumped from, go ahead. So, so basically it, okay. So basically it jumped from one generation to the next.
(10:28)
And the thing about it was, miles was in the advanced stages where like, even the doctors said, even if they had caught it early, the damages will still been severe because I will still probably end up doing dialysis, but it would have been for a short period of time.
(10:47)
And so, so it was just, it was just a nightmare. So I was in the hospital for like, like about 14 days. And my job at the time was like, when are you coming back to work? And I was just telling my supervisor, look, I'm trying to survive.
(11:05)
I'm not even thinking about work. I'm trying to survive something. I said, when I'm ready to talk, I will tell you. So upon getting released, it's like thoughts were going through my head, like where do I go from here?
(11:18)
Where do I go from here? Cause I was going to ask you, you know, I believe Michael, a lot of people will experience a major life challenge or just challenges period. And that's how it's going to be. What thought, like what emotions did you experience?
(11:34)
And how the heck did you think through them, man? Well, when I went back to work, cause I was doing the mentor shift for some kids and I was contemplating like, what do I need to do? And keep in mind my job.
(11:51)
They cut my hours where they cut my lunch out so where I could go and do dialysis And it was only for three. It's three hours and so And I'm sitting up here thinking and I talked to my doctors and they said the best thing we tell you You're gonna have to resign from your job And I'm like, but what about these kids that I'm mentoring?
(12:14)
Mm -hmm. Unfortunately, mr. White if you want to be around for your kids, you're gonna have to resign from your job so I resigned from my job and I got a lot of flak negative and positive Right, the negative flag came from the kids because they felt like I was leaving them Like I took them to the promised land and now it's like I can't take you no further and the whole time Thoughts in my mind was like, man, you know what?
(12:43)
Why don't you just why don't you just end it all? And that's when suicide start coming in and it was heavy At one point, you know, you can't urinate like you supposed to You can't drink certain fluids, you know, you everything is like restricted I'm talking about Imagine one day you go from drinking as much as you can to you can't you can't and Certain foods that I used to eat I can't eat those because it's all part of a new diet regime and the whole time suicide Was because being amped even more and it was like just end it all man end it all It's not getting better.
(13:24)
It's getting worse And at one point I was praying And I'm like, you know, cuz I'm reading you know, I read the Bible and I believe so much in like, okay You know what God you can do all this here and so I prayed I pray and It's like God didn't answer my prayers cuz it's like my condition just stayed the same it did not improve or nothing And at one point I started listening to suicide even greater And so I went to a group therapy and I'm like, you know what?
(13:57)
I can't take this. I can't take this. I'm ready to quit. This doesn't make sense. I'm in the finest shape of my life and all this is coming. Everything just spiraling out of control. And so one guy was like, just hang on in there.
(14:14)
It's going to get better. And so then I reached out to Monty and I told Monty, look, man, I'm at the end of my road. I'm about to drive this vehicle into a lake, into a one of the lakes here in Fort Worth area.
(14:29)
And I said, I can't do this. Monty was like, why are you giving up on yourself? I said, Monty, this, this, this condition is hard, man. It's hard. I can't, I mean, I had to resign from my job. I got a week, six months before Medicare kicks in.
(14:47)
So I got hell. additional income because my health condition is the reason why I cannot work. And it's like Monty was like, just hang on in there, hang on in there. And I stood right there at the lake looking at the water and I got my foot on the brake.
(15:06)
The vehicle's already in drought. I just got to take my foot off the brake. Wham, right into the water. And so then one, another close friend reached out to me and he was like, man, some I'm not going to say what, but something my sir told me to reach out to you.
(15:25)
It's going to be okay. My brother hang on in there, hang on in there. This is not what you want to do. And I'm like, this is something I want to do. I'm tired, man. I'm tired of being a burden. I'm tired of nothing's getting well.
(15:41)
And so he was like, man, just hang on in there, hang on in there. Don't throw away your 13 years. And you got your kids. Don't throw those years away because something's going to come out of this. So I left, I left the lake, went back home.
(16:00)
And I said, OK, I got my knees, I pray and I said, God, I just want to be well. I just want to be well. I want to, I want to be healed. I've refused to believe you brought me this far. And this is my legacy.
(16:17)
So as time went on, I got I kind of had positive attitude. However, suicide, those never went away. It's they were still there. Just like just like you try to rub your skin thinking it's going to change color.
(16:31)
No, the suicide, those they were still there. The only thing that was different was I didn't give in to him. And at this point, speeding up the clock. So we come down to this year. Around about that Friday after Mother's Day, my wife says she's going to the bores.
(16:50)
Wow. And it's like, wow, you're going to divorce me. And she was like, hey, it's everything, your PTSD, your health condition. All this stuff was a contributing factor. You're not treating me like I'm supposed to be treated.
(17:07)
And then here comes suicide thoughts again. Now, now it's even even stronger. And I'm talking about, like, I could hear, I could hear it clearly, like, do it, do it, do it. And I'm like, you know what, and I got, and I was mad and I took myself out of the house.
(17:26)
And I went to one of the local parks and I sit up there and I yell, I yell, they got, I'm like, God, you say you a good, you a good person. Everybody I read in the Bible, you blessed them with something.
(17:41)
They went through something, they got a blessing out of it. Where is my blessing coming from? Why have you forsaken me? Why have I given so much to a country? And yet I can't even get nothing back in return.
(17:53)
Why? Why? And I'm sitting up here crying and I'm like, this is this is so unfair. And I'm like, I served my country. I gave everything I held, everything. And I said, and I asked God, what did I do to anybody?
(18:11)
Who did I wrong? Why? Why am I suffering? Why is it that I'm going through all of this? Why? Why me? Why? And I kept asking God, why have you forgotten me? Why? Why is it I'm asking for help? I cannot get help.
(18:33)
Why? Why? Why? And God didn't answer. And I'm like, you know what? I'm tired, God. I'm ready to end it. I'm ready to end my life. I'm tired of living. I'm tired. I don't care nothing about being a dad.
(18:50)
I don't care nothing. Everything is going wrong. Everything. And in a brief instance, it's like God just put me out of my misery. God allowed me to dream. You want to commit suicide? Let me show you what it's going to look like.
(19:07)
So in this dream. I was dead. People were crying. My mom was crying. My dad was crying. My sisters, people that I served in the military was crying. It made the news. Everybody was like, why did he do this?
(19:27)
That was the whole that was the whole backdrop. Why? Where did we fail him? And at one point, my mom was just crying so hard. They had to. to a hospital because she was saying, why did my son not reach out to me?
(19:43)
Why did he not reach out to me? And my dad was like, why didn't he reach? Why didn't he just go get help? And that's what everybody was saying. And it got even so deep to where Monty, who you know good, well, Monty was at the funeral, he was presiding over it.
(20:05)
He was like, that's my little brother. I don't even know why he didn't reach out to me. I wish I could have helped him. I wish I could have been there for him. So it's gonna be okay. I'm gonna find somebody.
(20:17)
We're gonna get your story out there. We're gonna see if we can get you help because you got a purpose. And so the funeral, you know, I saw the funeral. Everybody was just asking questions why. And then of course, because of my faith, there I am for judgment.
(20:37)
and God was like just cast him into the lake of Hades. And all I'm seeing is my body being thrown over this cliff, going into this lake of fire. And everybody that I saw good close friends that commit suicide, I saw all of them burning, burning.
(20:58)
And I'm like, before I even hit the lake of fire, I woke up. And I said, you know what, God? You're not going, I know who, I know who you are. I know that you're not like a drive -through where I could just put in the blessing, and then I drive around and I get right there.
(21:19)
Right. I said, God, I'm gonna trust you that you know what you're doing. I said, you know how I feel about this condition. I said, God, if it's possible for Christmas, I don't want no gifts. I don't want no thank you for your service.
(21:40)
I don't want none of that. I just want a kidney so I could go back and serve my true purpose. And the whole time I'm like, what is my purpose? And one of my friends was like, dude, how about, excuse me, how about you become a speaker?
(22:00)
He said, there's people dealing with suicide. And I told him the same thing, I'm telling you and the rest of your listeners. He said, man, you actually got a chance to go into an area where most people don't come back from.
(22:15)
He said, man, that's powerful. He said, there ain't nothing but God. And so he was like, why don't you become a speaker, a motivational speaker, because somebody needs to hear your story like, man, I went over here.
(22:32)
You don't want to go there. And there's always hope. And while I'm trying to tell your listeners and people that's listening to this podcast, there's hope. My hope is to one day get a kidney and to one day share my story.
(22:51)
And so people understand there's hope. There's always hope. And that's pretty much it. Well, I'll tell you, Michael, you have done that. You know, God has blessed Monti Hay and you and put people in your life that we can't even explain and how we got connected.
(23:15)
You and I have talked before this recording. And I will tell you, you've blessed me. You've inspired me. And that in Monday, because this is a Saturday, everyone. This is December 9th. The time here is December 9th, about 539 Eastern Standard Time.
(23:34)
We're going to publish this on Monday, December the 11th. And I believe you've already arrived. In other words, you're going to inspire, motivate. In this episode, I believe it's going to help save lives.
(23:48)
Michael, I thank you so much for removing your armor. I thank you so much for sharing the power of a belief in faith, the power of asking for help. I mean, you didn't have to call Monty. You sure as heck didn't have to call your other friend.
(24:03)
But that was a choice, man. And I'm thankful that I met you. And so, you know, I know you're doing great things and I know you have a lot going on, my friend. And you're just amazing. If I if I have any challenges anywhere near you, I watched this episode multiple times.
(24:24)
Is there anything before I let you go and you and I, I'll call you. But is there anything else you would like to leave the listeners and viewers, my friend? The thing I want to leave behind is. Is I want to fulfill a legacy as my friend will say, that's incomplete because.
(24:54)
Again, having the condition like this, I just want people to know because I even had one lady say she will give me a kidding, but she's afraid that she might she might give the disease and stuff. And it was some racial undertones in the midst of what she said.
(25:11)
Why I want to share is this condition. It changes. It does have a negative impact only if you allow it to. My hope is whoever. Is to give kidding and. And I'm sure somebody knows somebody that has like one of these outreach ministries or outward social platforms.
(25:41)
And that's all I want to be used for. I'm not trying to make no money off my thing where I'm just a guest speaker and I'm making money off of this. No, I want people to hear that I made it. It was hard.
(25:55)
And at the same time, I remain positive. And there's people that believe in me like Monty, who I will always consider a brother. And then there's a lot of other people that look up to me. And the only thing I will say is I just want to do this because I have four kids and even my girls.
(26:18)
And I told them I was going to do this. And my oldest was saying that share your story. Share your story because She said, dad, I want you to be around. I want you to be there when one day if I decide to have grandkids, I want them to see you.
(26:38)
And even the rest of them, they was like, dad, you got a lot to offer. But dad, just don't don't ever let suicide take you away from us because that's unfair. And I gave my word. I said, I'm going to go.
(26:55)
I'm going to do as much as I can. I already share my story on Facebook. I kind of edit a little bit because it's, you know, I'm long -winded. So I'm sorry about that. No, you're fine. But the next phase, yeah, but the next phase now is I'm going to try to put some of it on some of the news anchors here in the DFW area.
(27:23)
And my mission now is just just looking for a kidney donor. So one day people could hear my story so I could be a blessing to them just like you have allowed me to be on this platform. So I thank you and others who are listening to this.
(27:39)
And I just pray that whoever just look into your heart. If you feel that you want to do this. Go for it. If you feel like you may not be that person, find somebody that wants to because again, I want to be a blessing.
(28:00)
I don't want to be a birding. I just want to be a blessing. So that way I can give back to my Susan and brothers who started on the battlefield. And that's not too much to ask. I just again pray on it.
(28:14)
And if you still unsure with the process and all it is go to YouTube. They have a lot of videos that show you what even like what I go through dialysis paratinal. It shows you what I do on the day to day basis.
(28:28)
It's not a good thing, but it's what's keeping me alive for my kids, my faith in God, and one day, eventually, a donor. So thank y 'all. No, thank you again, Michael. Love the heck out of you. I will continue to pray for you and continue to help you as well.
(28:48)
And I just thank you so much, and you've already done enough as far as inspiring the heck out of me, and I know you're gonna do more. But everyone you guys know to do what we can to share this episode, like Michael said, looking your heart.
(29:03)
And again, if life is rough and suicide becomes you know, very real to you, listen to Michael, reach out to people, get help, but don't do that. Don't commit suicide, okay? Michael, I love you, man. And I love the army just for this episode, Michael.
(29:24)
Just- You know, I'll put a smile on your face. But everyone again, we'll see you in 2024 for episodes. Nicole and I do a holiday message, but this will be the last show for 2023. It's been a blessing.
(29:42)
I pray that everyone is out there being safe and let's see if we can get Michael some help. Michael, love you, man. Happy holidays, my friend. And I'll give you a call after this show. Everyone will see in 2024.
(29:55)
Until then, take care. God bless you. God bless your family, members, and God bless your friends. Thank you for listening to this most recent episode. And remember, you can listen and watch all of the previous episodes on my YouTube channel.
(30:10)
The best way to connect to me and all of my social media is follow me on the Parade Deck. That is www .paradedeck .com. Or you can click on the link in the show notes. I'll see you guys soon.
