The Consequences of wanting more for Yourself
In this episode Meech discusses The Consequences of wanting more for Yourself and how it can affect friendships. He emphasizes that progress is ongoing and that one should treat their growth like an iPhone, constantly upgrading and striving for better. He warns against becoming too comfortable and halting progress due to dwelling on consequences. The speaker also shares personal experiences of losing and regaining friendships during his own journey of self-improvement.
Discussion Points
- The consequences of wanting more for oneself and how it can affect friendships
- Treating growth like an iPhone, constantly upgrading and striving for better
- Warning against becoming too comfortable and halting progress due to dwelling on consequences
- Personal experiences of losing and regaining friendships during a journey of self-improvement
- Law of action: the importance of taking action to manifest goals, not just having a positive mindset
- Losing friends during the journey of self-improvement and the pain that comes with it
- Seeing potential in others and the consequences of trying to push them towards change without their own willingness to change
- Timing and divine timing in personal growth and change
Full Video
Resources
Transcript - The Consequences of wanting more for Yourself
(00:00)
Say welcome back to mech speaks. Welcome back to me speaks. Mech Speaks. Welcome back to mech speaks. Welcome back to me speak. Welcome back to mech speaks. Welcome back to always say something. Applies my fucker.
(00:25)
What's going on, everybody? And welcome back to another episode of Meech Speaks. I'm your host. Demetrius Thickpen, also known as Meech, speaks. And before we get started with this episode, don't forget to, like, subscribe and share this podcast on your favorite streaming platform because this podcast deserves to grow just as much as we do.
(00:40)
Now, one thing I want to say before we even get started with this episode, and I don't know who needs to hear this, and I apologize, because I already know what I'm about to say. It may ruffle a couple of feathers.
(00:50)
It may stir the pot up just a little bit. You know what I mean? It may not be exactly what you want to hear on a Monday morning, but I don't know who need to hear this, but stop holding up the prayer line with your bullshit prayers, you feel me?
Title: The Consequences of wanting more for Yourself
(01:02)
I don't know who need to hear this, man, but stop praying to God for some shit that you have no intention on executing. It's some of us in line that really got some prayers that we trying to get God to answer, but he over there dealing with what you got going on, knowing damn well that you're not about to do anything with whatever he about to bless you with, you femi.
(01:20)
So I'm going to just go ahead and just say that now because it's been sitting on my spirit for quite some time. But stop holding up the prayer line with your bullshit prayers. Stop asking God stop asking God to bless you with something that you're not going to do.
(01:35)
Stop praying on something that you have no intention on executing on. And I bring that up, man, because we'll sit back and we'll talk about becoming a better version of yourself. We'll sit back and talk about making a change for the better.
(01:47)
We'll sit back and we'll talk about a lot of things that look good. You feel me? We talk about a lot of things that sound good, but the reality is that some of us have no intention. You feel me? We have no intention on executing those things.
(02:01)
And last week I had a conversation and one thing that I feel like I don't do enough of is saying the second half of the conversation. You know what I mean? Like when I talk about mindset, when I talk about motivation I always share the good or the fatty part of it.
(02:17)
I never share the lean part and I apologize for that, I really do. But when we talk about mindset, you know what I mean, like we hear it all the time. Growth mindset, fixed mindset. We hear that based off of your mindset is going to determine whatever you want to do in your life.
(02:33)
So if you have a shitty mindset then obviously you're going to have shitty results within life. But the reality is that your mindset means nothing if you're not going to have the actions behind it. I'll say that one more time.
(02:47)
Your mindset means nothing if you have no action behind it. You feel me? For the ones who think about manifestation you know what I mean? Like when we talk about law of Attraction, law of attraction is only twelve.
(03:03)
It's only one of the twelve laws of manifestation. The other law is law of action. You know what I mean? That's the other law that nobody wants to talk about. So just like how law of Attraction states that based off of your positive and negative thoughts is going to determine your positive and negative outcomes in life.
(03:20)
Law of action says that what you are trying to manifest. You feel me? You have to also get up and chase. So whatever I pray on, you femi whatever I'm praying about, I'm chasing after. Whatever I'm praying about.
(03:33)
You feel me? I'm moving in the direction towards the thing that I'm praying on. So if I say that I want to lose weight, if I say I want to lose weight then guess what? I can't sit on my ass at the house.
(03:45)
I got to get up and go to the gym. You feel me? If I say that I want to find the love of my life I'm not going to find the love of my life playing the game. You know what I mean? I ain't gonna be able to find the love of my life solo in it.
(03:58)
I gotta get out there, you know what I mean? If I say I want better friends, then I gotta put myself in a position to start making these better friends, but I also gotta put myself in a position to be willing to accept the friends that are coming within my life.
(04:11)
And slowly, your life will start to change. Like, slowly your life will start to change. And as we dive into today's episode, I really want to just talk about the consequences of change. So now that we got that out the way for today's episode, let's just go ahead and talk about the consequences of change.
(04:31)
Now, you trust the process. You femi, you're starting to make strides into a better direction, you know what I mean? Like, you're mentally prepared. You're starting to get over the first couple of steps, and slowly you're starting to fall in love with the person that you are becoming.
(04:48)
I just really want to let a couple of people know a couple of things as you start to become this better version of yourself, first things first, you're going to lose a couple of friends. I don't know who needs to hear that.
Title: The Consequences of wanting more for Yourself
(04:59)
And I'll say that one more time. As you become a better version of yourself, please understand that you're going to lose a couple of friends along the way. While you're losing friends, understand that there's going to be moments where there's family that's going to say that you've changed.
(05:13)
They're going to say that you acting different. Matter of fact, it's going to be a couple of people that were real close by you that are also going to say that you're acting different, that you've changed, and I'm going to just keep it a buck with you.
(05:26)
They're 100% right. They're 100% right. You did change, and it's a change for the better. They are 100% right on that. But the thing is that we'll sit back and we'll tell people that you got to make a change for better.
(05:43)
You got to do well in your life, you got to chase after your goals, you got to become a better version of yourself, but we won't tell them the consequences of it. And when you don't understand the consequences of this journey that you're about to go on, you're going to end up reverting back to who you are, because this shit is hard.
(05:59)
I'm going to just keep it a buck with you. Ain't nothing like losing some friends that you thought that you was going to have for the long call, but not realizing that as you were changing, you feel me?
(06:10)
Your mindset started to change, your habits started to change, and slowly but surely, possibly, your environment probably changed too. You know what I mean? Ain't nothing worse than thinking that everybody was supporting you in the beginning, but the moment that you started to see some type of product let me rephrase that the moment that you start to see some type of progress, they start to back out.
(06:35)
And just like what I said earlier, if you are not prepared for that, I can't say if you're okay with it, because I'll be lying if I said that I was okay with how many people that I lost. I would be lying if I sat there and I said that I was okay with my family, told me that I had changed, that I was acting different.
(06:55)
But if I was prepared for it, I don't think it would have stung just as much. So I just really want to let somebody know that the moment that you start to get your shit together, you might as well just go ahead and just look at everybody as temporary because they're going to start to remove themselves because they no longer serve a purpose.
(07:12)
They're going to start to remove themselves because your frequencies ain't matching no more. They're going to start to remove themselves, and they going to say things to you to get you to remain the same.
(07:22)
Because nobody wants to lose somebody. Nobody wants to lose somebody. But the reality is that your mindset is going to change. And this reminds me of a story, right? And I remember back when I was in California, right before I launched the podcast.
(07:38)
And before, before I even dive into this, man, like, I really want to just get this shit off my chest for a second, you know what I mean? Like, I really want to get this shit off my chest. Before I became a podcaster, before I dove into the motivational realm, before I decided that I wanted to become a better version of myself.
(07:52)
I was really in the trenches with this shit, you feel me? I was pressing fucking goddamn sergeants and a fucking goddamn motor pool, you know what I mean? I was fighting in uniform, you know? There was a couple of times I've been arrested, you see what I'm saying?
(08:03)
I'd have been kicked out of mess nights. I've been showing up to work drunk, hung over. Nobody really knew about some of the things that I was doing, but there were a couple of people that did know and one of the people that knew about me before I made this change and I just really want to get this out the way before I made this change, you feel me?
(08:21)
Before I made this change, I was really out there. So don't let this motivation on speaking stuff. Oh, meech is so spiritual, meech is so wise. Like, meech is really with the shit. I just really want to let you know.
(08:34)
But before I got my shit together, I used to hang out with one of the guys at work. And every other Friday, either on Fridays or Saturdays, we would just meet up at his house and we would drink. We would usually meet up around by like nine, eight o'clock and I wouldn't leave his house till about 01:00 in the morning.
(08:56)
Now, mind you, he stayed around the corner from me, you feel me? So I would be able to just walk to his house and we would just sit back, listen to music, we would drink, we would complain about work, we would complain about our lives.
(09:07)
We will always have something negative to talk about. And then when you add liquor into the occasion, man, we think that we having a good time, but we really just acting as two rain clouds just worn out all over the place, you know what I mean?
(09:21)
But misery loves company and we love the trauma bond, you feel me? So we did get close during that time, but the moment that I decided to get my shit together. I also had to take a step back at the things that I was doing in my life and the things that I was allowing in my life.
(09:39)
And one of the things that I had to realize is that, man, like, bro, like, I can't hang out with you on the weekends if all we going to do is just sit back and complain about how our lives suck. You feel me?
(09:51)
I don't know who needs to hear this, man, but when you hear words like, oh, you're failing. Oh, you're messing up. Oh, you suck, please understand that there's not a period at the end of that. It's a comma.
(10:04)
It's a semicolon. And that's exactly what I was treating my life as. Like, there's no period at the end of this shit right now. So I don't want to sit here and say that, talk about how my life sucks because I'm trying to get my life to not suck.
(10:18)
You know what I mean? You want to sit back and talk about how life sucks and how we feel like failures and how we could things should be better. I'm trying to make things better for myself right now.
(10:30)
And if you're not trying to do that, then I think that we're going to have to part ways. And although I'm saying this now pretty chill, you know what I mean? That hurt. That hurt. I was one of the ones that hurt the most.
(10:46)
I had another friend that we ended up going our separate ways. We ended up having to give ourselves space because the way the direction I was going in, the direction that he. Was going was no longer aligning.
(10:57)
And I'll be lying to you if I said that that didn't hurt. Ain't nothing worse than mourning somebody that's still alive. You film you looking at your phone wishing that you could talk about talk to them, but you all ain't really got shit to talk about anymore, you know what I mean?
(11:13)
And thing that you had in common, you no longer subscribe to that. Obviously, there was people that just knew of me or just knew me on. A on a surface level that realized. That I had changed immediately.
(11:26)
Losing surface people never hurt me. I'm just keeping a buck with you. Losing a surface person will never hurt you, and it never should hurt you because this person don't even really know you. They just know of you or what they have heard about you.
(11:38)
So when you change, obviously they gonna be like, oh, well, he's changed and he's acting. He they can create whatever fucking of or generate whatever idea about you to whoever they wanted that's crazy enough to listen.
(11:50)
I'm talking about the person that knows you. That hurts. And just recently, I had a conversation with Benny and I had a conversation with Mike, and we were talking about when you see potential in people, you know what I mean?
(12:06)
And I saw potential in that guy, and I remember telling him, and a lot of times, people always assume that I'm just so pessimistic. You feel me? Like, I'm so pessimistic. Hey meech, man. Like, how often do you see potential in somebody and you want to help them?
(12:20)
I see about 30. I do about 30%. You fed me. And I bring that up because I remember when I did 90%. I remember when I did the 80. I remember when I did the 70. I was trying to get you to unlock a potential in yourself that you didn't even see yet.
(12:36)
But because I saw the potential in you, I felt like I should be doing the most work and pushing you towards who you supposed to be. But in reality, I was actually pushing you towards the person I wanted you to be.
(12:54)
The potential that I was seeing in you was in my head. You femme me. And I bring that up, man, because a lot of times, like, as we start to lose people in our lives, we say that we see potential in them.
(13:05)
They could be doing so much more. I'm gonna just take a step back, and I'm not trying to invalidate what you're saying, because you possibly you you might be right, but it means nothing if they don't see the potential in themselves.
(13:18)
You know what I mean? It means nothing if they don't see the potential in themselves. You stressing yourself out trying to get this person to unlock a better version of themselves. But to them, they are the best version of themselves right now.
(13:31)
To them, they are comfortable right now. And I need you to ask yourself. Real quick, like, who are you to. Tell them that you could be something more if they know themselves better than. You, you know what I mean?
(13:45)
Like they know themselves better than you. The same way that you didn't want somebody to tell you what you should be doing. The same way you didn't want somebody to tell you how you should be acting.
(13:55)
Why are we trying to sit there and tell somebody else? Why? Is it because our reasoning is more righteous than what theirs was? You don't know that person. You don't know where their mindset is at. And for those who don't really understand exactly what I'm talking about here, I use a different one.
(14:15)
You ever heard of divine timing? You feel me? Like, you ever heard of, like, you know, we all know that timing is everything, right? We know that. And I say that timing is everything is that you can be selling somebody gold.
(14:27)
But if they are not in the mindset to receive that, you might as well be giving them shit. And that you might as well be giving them shit because at least they know what to do with the shit. That you're giving them.
(14:38)
They have no idea what to do with this gold that you've given them. They have no idea to do. They don't know what door this key that you just gave them. They don't know what door to unlock it unlocks.
(14:48)
But they know what that shit going to do. And when they in that mindset, right? Like, they have to get there on their own. And I don't know who need to hear that sometimes. Like we we giving somebody a 2023 convertible, not realizing that the person that we about to give it to live in a one bedroom shack in a rough neighborhood.
(15:08)
Where the fuck they going to park that? You see what I'm saying? We giving them a convertible, but that person don't even know how to drive manual. You might as well had just gave him some shit. At least he know what to do with that.
(15:18)
He know to throw that away. You know what I mean? A lot of times, we start to see the results in what it's doing for us. And we assume that because it's doing it for us, we can do it for somebody else.
(15:32)
But the reality is that it took you a minute to get there. Think about how long it sat with you before you actually started to put actions to thoughts. Think about how long it sat with you before you got up and started to go to the gym.
(15:47)
Think about how long it sat with you before you decided to give up drinking. Think about how long it sat with you before you actually did the shadow work to bring people in your life. Think about how long it sat with you, the idea itself, like it had to form in your head before it took physical form.
(16:06)
Think about that. And you trying to skip that step for somebody else based off of a potential that they don't even see yet. Come on. Now, one thing that we have to understand is that none of this shit has a period at the end of it.
(16:24)
None of this shit has a period at the end of it. And your actions, right, like, your actions are going to inspire your old friends, and they are going to attract new friends within your life. And I'll say that again.
(16:38)
One thing that we have to understand is that there's no period at the end of anything that is happening in our lives. Even if you lose friends, you feel me? Although it hurts. But treat it like this.
(16:50)
Have you ever lost something in your house? Don't you end up finding it later on down, down the line. It might be a day later, it might be a week later, it might be a month later, it might be a year later, but you end up finding it, right?
(17:02)
So that's not a period. That was actually a comma or a semicolon. And I say that your actions will inspire them, because if you truly, like, if that's really, like, a deep friendship, right? Like, if that was really a meaningful friendship, then they gonna see you, and they gonna see the progress that you are making in your life and the doors that is starting to open in your life and the changes in which and they gonna be inspired to make a change within themselves.
(17:25)
They gonna be inspired to make a change within themselves. And I say that your actions your actions will also attract your actions will also attract new people in your life. And as we move into the different topic, I just want to leave you with this story real quick, because you all know, like, r Active.
(17:43)
You know what I mean? Mike, Nick, and Andy. Now, I met Mike, Nick and Andy or I met the gentleman from our active back in California. And I remember because we were doing an episode, I think it's let's go wake up and get our Active.
(17:58)
And I remember my first time meeting them. Now, mind you, I had just started podcasts, and I think I was, like, on my 15th episode, and this is when I was bringing in all the guests. Me and Andy had seen each other here and there before, you know what I mean?
(18:11)
And we locked in, and we said, like, you know, let's go ahead and let's do an episode together. And he brought in Mike and Nick, and when they showed up, first things first, they all the same height.
(18:25)
Andy just a little shorter than everybody, but they are the same height. And they all had different personalities, but they all were singular on one goal. Then on top of that, man, I started to notice how they were speaking, how they were carrying themselves.
(18:40)
And then what caught me off guard was that they all had iPhone eleven S. You feel me? I know that's a material thing. I know that's serial thing, but I'm bringing all of these things up because my actions had attracted these gentlemen into my life.
(18:55)
My actions had. But my character was about to push them away. And when I mean, my character was about to push them away, there were some immediate thoughts when I first met them. I was insecure when I first met them, you know what I mean?
(19:09)
I'm looking at them, and they all dress similar, you feel me? They all got a goal, you know what I mean? They all got a team, you see what I'm saying? They all got iPhones you, you know what I mean? They all conversing amongst each other.
(19:22)
And I'm feeling like, damn, man. Like, how can I be like these these gentlemen? And plus, they all were in shape too. They all were in shape. And I'm like, Damn, man. Like, I don't think I really belong around them.
(19:33)
Not realizing that, I'm subconsciously sabotaging myself. It took me a minute. It took me a minute. I let it go. I let that part of me go, and I accepted what was bringing into my life. And I bring that part up because a lot of times we have prayed a guy to bring something good into our lives, but then rebuke it because we don't like the way that it's gift wrapped it, you feel me?
(19:53)
We ask God to bring this into our lives, surround us around people that will nourish us and help us grow. But as soon as those people come, we don't like the timing in which they came. Can they come back later?
(20:02)
Now? This for you right now. This for you right now. And as I started to hang out with them more slowly, bits and pieces of me started to change as well, you feel me? The first thing that changed was I had to get rid of that Android.
(20:15)
I had to give me an iPhone, you feel me? I got to look the part. I got to look the part. But my podcasting also started to get better. I started going places with them, you know what I mean? Like, I started going to fitness expos.
(20:28)
I started to make more connections with other people. And I was also developing a deep friendship with these gentlemen as well. I still talk to them today. I just did an episode with Mike yesterday, you know what I mean?
(20:38)
So I tell you that your actions will inspire old friends, fans, and they are going to attract new friends. Your old friends are going to be inspired by your actions. And I already covered that part. And you remember one of the friends that I had lost in the very beginning of my transition and becoming a better version of myself, he ended up coming back around, you know what I mean?
(20:55)
So once again, man, none of this shit has a period to it. None of this shit has a it's a comma and it's either a semicolon. Alright? So now that we talked about friends and understanding the consequences of when we want a better version of ourselves, I just really want to just leave you with this R1 quick.
(21:11)
You have to get used to treating yourself like you an iPhone, all right? And you know, I had talked about iPhones earlier, but I really need you to adopt this mentality of treating yourself like an iPhone them.
(21:24)
And I say that because think about iPhone and how many iPhones come out a year, you femi. Once a year, you femi. So when I met Nick and Andy, I had an iPhone Eleven. Next year, a twelve came out next year, 13 came out next year.
(21:36)
The 14 came out next year. Obviously the 15 is coming out. And that's exactly how you got to treat your progress. You see what I'm saying? Because a lot of times and hear me out, a lot of times we be falling in love midway through and settling down.
(21:53)
It's happened to me. You fear me. It's happened to me. Because we'll sit back and we'll say, man, like, stop and smell the flowers. And when you stop and smell the flowers, you got to be cautious with that.
(22:03)
When you take a step back and look at everything that you built, you got to be cautious with that. Because it's easy to be like, damn, look what I did. You know what? Some of this shit is good enough.
(22:15)
It's good enough. And the best analogy that I could give you is imagine that you had a goal to set to lose £50. And you go to the gym, you hitting the gym hard. You created your meal plans. You waking up at 05:00 in the morning and you starting to lose that weight.
(22:30)
You don't lost £35. And at this point right here, people are starting to look at you. You feel me? They starting to look at you. They starting to admire the progress. They your results amen your waistgun gotten slimmer?
(22:42)
Amen your shoulder starting to poke out a little bit more. Amen I see you in the gym and you appreciate that. You appreciate that progress. And you even see it in the mirror. You see the clothes that no longer fit you.
(22:57)
You look. And you say to yourself, man, well, I'm already making progress. One day won't hurt if I miss it, man, I'm busy. You know what? I think I'm good here. You unknowingly are about to revert back to who you are.
(23:17)
You see what I'm saying? You unknowingly about to revert back to who you are. It's easy to sit back and and admire what we have. And I ain't saying that you shouldn't. I ain't saying that you shouldn't.
(23:29)
But you remembered that you said that you were going to lose 50. You didn't say that you were going to lose 35. 35 was just a part of the progress. That's just a part of the process. You said that you was going to lose 50.
(23:41)
We still got 15 more pounds to lose, so I don't know who needs to hear that. But you got to treat your progress. You got to treat your growth like it's an iPhone. Yeah, man, I saved up money, man. I got the eleven, you know what I mean?
(23:58)
But as soon as that twelve come out, I'm out to trade that in. And then when the 13 come out, I'm out to trade that in and get that. I love it. Don't get me wrong, I like the phone, but I said I wanted more for myself.
(24:11)
I said I want it better for myself. So when better comes out, then I'm going to get better. When there's an opportunity to chase after something better, then I'm going after it. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate what I have.
(24:27)
I appreciate what I have. But at the exact same time, I said I wanted more. And this is so crazy because this recently just happened to me. As you can see now, man, the camera quality has gotten better.
(24:41)
I'm running things off of my Apple Watch. The mics have gotten better. I'm running this shit through some air pods. I ain't saying none of this shit to brag or boast, because for those who really remember me, I was doing all this on a gaming headset off my phone.
(24:56)
So as I started to upgrade and get some mics and get a little laptop, and the production got better, so did I. But as I started to get better with recording, I realized that I needed more things. I needed lighting, I needed better camera quality.
(25:14)
I needed something with stronger software. Software. I needed these things. It's easy to get comfortable with what you have and where you're at because you know that you have overcome a lot. You know that.
(25:28)
But although you have overcome a lot, you're still not at your destination, so so I don't know who needs to hear that, but you know what I mean? Take that shit in stride. Take that shit in stride and continue to move forward.
(25:45)
Ain't none of this is easy. Ain't none of this is easy. And if it was easy, then everybody will be able to do it. And I don't know who needs to hear this, but when we talk about becoming a better version of yourself, understand that you are going to be challenged.
(26:01)
Understand there are going to be consequences to your actions, because there's consequences to actions in general, whether they are positive or negative. And if you dwell too much on these consequences, right, you are going to sabotage your progress.
(26:15)
You are going to halt your progress, and eventually, you are going to revert back to who you are. January 1, you came in with the mindset of wanting something more for yourself. It's March. We still got a lot more to go.
(26:29)
And just like that, another extraordinary thought left this ordinary mind. I hope you enjoyed this episode half as much as I enjoyed making it. Now, do me a favor. If you're on Apple or Spotify, don't forget to leave a five star review for this podcast.
(26:40)
And lastly, hit that subscribe button, because this podcast deserves to grow. Just.
